There Are Things Each Of Us Don’t Forget
When they told us that the X-Files was coming back the first thing that came to mind was Matt and I talking about it from time to time. Most of you know that he loved the possibility of alien life. I don’t know if he really believed there was alien life somewhere, I do. Maybe he just just entertained the possibility as food for thought as he did a lot of other things.
One time I got him a gift of a fake alien fetus suspended in liquid in a container. I can still see clear as day the smile on his face when he opened it and I hear his little laugh. I’m crying about that memory now and it’s been two years since I felt like this. It was such a gem to see him genuinely smile and laugh in those later years. It was some brief exception.
Truth be told I would often listen for his laugh or look for that hint of a smile when watching a movie or TV show with him there. The only way I can describe how real that momentary joy of his was is to compare it to a child who is laughing at something – it’s not forced or false and it gives others such joy to see/hear it. It was so, so good to see that even though it was often for only a couple seconds.
We all miss Matt. I’ll only speak for myself but I’ll say that I haven’t moved on, it’s always there. We may have items here and there in dedication to Matt… pictures, gifts from him, gifts from others after his passing; I have them all, do you? We walk by them probably every day, many times not even thinking about it. But the times when you do stop to look/remember/think, even for the briefest moment – thank you. Thank you in joining us all in remembering him whether it be a moment only between you and Matt or everyone.
4-3-19
Matthew, its been six years today. It really hit me hard today, you are gone! Why today? Why now? I have no explanation. Dad cried today when I showed him your picture and told him what day it was. He cried again tonight when going to bed because your picture is on the dresser. I have no tears Matthew. Only memories in my heart and mind of the good times. I know you are there, I know you are watching over us. So keep up the good work. Your family loves you and misses you-tremendously.
Mom
Christmas Day 2017
Dearest Matthew, Another Christmas without you. It gets harder, not easier. And this year it was really hard because no one was here with dad and I on Christmas day. We spent it together by ourselves, first time in 70 years. But I think of how wonderful it is for the grandchildren to have Christmas morning in their own home. That’s the magic of Christmas! I’m still looking for your alien ornament. I put it some place special last Christmas so I’ll keep looking and get it on the tree. Please continue to watch over us. You are with me every day in some way. Love, Mom
4-19-16
Thank you Paul for your words of deep love and meaning in the above comments. Its a moment in time-not when I see a picture or gift or some other item-when the instant memory flashes in my heart its me and him all over again. I love you Matthew. Mom